Tuesday, April 27, 2010
"I'd be so good at that! ... No I wouldn't."
"They can't kick me out for behavior! Sometimes I can't control my reactions."
"Dude! You knew I liked her! You should have asked me first before you asked her out."
"But you already have a girlfriend!"
"Dude, I got a bunny."
"Like a real bunny rabbit?"
"Dude, that's raw!"
"So we're doing this stuff in gym, and this guy came up and did something really awesome."
"What was it?"
"I don't know, but it was cool."
"Mrs. Miller, will you watch my bag while I go to the bathroom?" (puts it on the other side of the room)
"Sure, but bring it over to my desk if you want me to watch it."
"Maybe I just won't go to the bathroom. I don't feel safe."
Girl: "Mrs. Miller, I like your skirt." (Please note that skirt is boxy, shapeless, and denim)
Boy: "Yeah, it's sexy."
"I'm not spoiled. I just get everything I want."
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I had never actually been to McSweeney's website and decided I'd better take a look. The second piece down was this. For all of you out there with useless degrees, this is for you!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
On my flights to and from Vegas, I was "randomly" stopped and searched both times (lucky winner!). When I was getting frisked the second time, the security guard discovered a hard protrusion coming out of the center of my chest and was beginning to wand it. To save him the trouble I explained, "It's a bone." He just kind of stared at me for a second, so I continued, "Do you wanna see it?" I think the big grin on my face when I made the offer kind of spooked him. He mumbled, "No" and abruptly ended the search and sent me on my way. I guess I didn't exactly fit the terrorist stereotype.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Update: For the story about how "420" came into common usage, check out this story from the Huffington Post.
Or maybe he had already finished reading it.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Also, I had a dream last night that I was trying to get across the city of Chicago in a rowboat that had wheels on it.
Lastly, I learned yesterday what exactly is a pile driver (not the wrestling move). It's the machine that packs in the material below a foundation so that settling does not occur. I guess I can see how that could be construed as a flying elbow...
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Great Moments in Journalism
"Emmy Award-winning journalist Mara Schiavocampo is the Digital Correspondent for NBC Nightly News With Brian Williams, the first reporter of her kind in network television," according to her Puffington Host bio. In a Puffington Host post on the care of female prison inmates' children, Schiavocampo writes:
Critics argue the Department of Corrections shouldn't be in the childcare business, given that their primary role is for punishment and rehabilitation. Plus, the programs are expensive, about $24,000 a year per infant. That's taxpayer money, though in some cases the programs are covered by government grants.
We're not sure what kind of reporter Schiavocampo is the first of, but if she's the first who thinks that "government grants" are not "taxpayer money," we hope she's also the last.
Friday, April 9, 2010
From my review at Goodreads.com:
My brother recommended this book to me several years ago, and I finally found a copy in the Chicago public library system. I didn't know going in that the book was a collection of loosely connected short stories, but I found the format worked quite well, despite not being what I had expected.
The setting is a post-nuclear United States. The only community that is really thriving, not just surviving, is the Mormon community in Utah and surrounding areas, now called the State of Deseret. The first story details a group's trek from North Carolina to the Mormon Sea (what used to be the Great Salt Lake, now flooding the entire valley), and the other stories discuss life and hardship within the culture. The final story is a little strange and does deal with sex, but I didn't find it distasteful or inappropriate. Each of the stories is told from the point of view of an outsider looking in on the sometimes impenetrable Mormon culture.
The book is definitely not "Mormon fiction" as most people write it. It's just fiction that happens to deal with Mormons: the good, the bad, the weird, and the very ugly. One does not need much familiarity with Mormon culture to connect with the themes of community, outcast, family, faith, love, and fear. Card's strength is once again in taking ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances and making them feel believable and real.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
PS: Not an April Fool's Day joke. Check the weather if you don't believe me.